Does this sound familiar?
You lie awake wondering where your child is.
You've tried talking, pleading, rules, and letting go.
You're afraid that the wrong words will push them further away.
And you don't know who to ask for help.
You're not alone. And what you do as a parent really makes a difference.
Support
How I can help
Why Code Red?
The Support No One Else Offers You
Most support is built around the person with the addiction. I built mine around you. I know this journey myself - as a mother, as a partner. That's why I understand something many people miss: when you get the right guidance, your loved one benefits too. You don't have to choose between taking care of yourself and helping them. It works both ways.
The Code RED-programme
You Don't Walk This Path Alone Anymore
From your very first phone call, through the chaos of crisis, through treatment, and the long road of recovery after - I walk this with you, step by step. No two families are the same, so you won't get a standard checklist. You get a plan that fits your situation, and it grows as your situation changes.
My Support
There's a Way Forward, Whatever You're Facing
Whatever you need, I have a way to help - from one-on-one coaching to hands-on, in-home support when things get really hard. Some families need one thing. Others need several, working together. Wherever you are in the world, we'll figure out together what you need most right now.
Services
My Support
1. Reach out
Send me a WhatsApp, call me, or fill in the form. A few sentences is enough, you don't need to have the right words.
2. A free first conversation
In about an hour, we talk about your child, what's going on at home, and what you need most right now. No pressure, no judgement.
3. Plan
Together we decide what fits your situation. One service, or several working together. You stay in control of every choice.
4. We walk this together
I stay by your side, online or in person, wherever you are in the world. The plan grows with you as things change.
How it works
"Loving an addict is to run out of tears..."
"Boundless love or loving boundaries."
You've been strong, long enough.
You've been holding everything together for your child for a long time.
Somewhere along the way, you may have lost yourself. Helping your child also means taking care of you.
You don't have to carry this alone.
About Me
Why I Understand This Better Than Most
I'm Esther Ras, a certified family therapist and addiction specialist. But long before any of that, I was a partner, watching someone I loved disappear into addiction, feeling more alone with every year that passed. Later, I became a mother - and found myself living through it all over again, this time lying awake wondering if my own child was safe.
I know the fear. I know the sleepless nights. And I know what it's like to search for help while your child is still in the middle of it - while nothing is resolved yet, and you have no idea how it will end. I kept coming up empty, because almost none of the help out there was actually meant for me. Everyone was focused on the person with the addiction. No one asked how I was doing, or what I needed to keep standing.
That's exactly why I created Code Red. Not from theory, but from everything I lived through myself, first as a partner, then as a mother, and later as a professional who studied this from every angle. I wanted to build the kind of support I wish someone had handed me back then: calm, honest, and direct, without judgment and without shame.
My approach rests on one simple belief: when the family changes, recovery becomes possible - even before your loved one is ready to change. You don't have to wait for rock bottom. You don't have to lose yourself to help someone you love. And you don't have to do any of this alone.
Wherever you are in the world, whatever stage you're in - I'm here to walk this with you.
Client & Colleague Testimonials
What my Clients and Colleagues are Saying
"We were desperate when we found Code Red. Esther was there in every crisis, with clear guidance through the process from addiction to recovery. Thanks to her, our son is doing so much better."
- Ria
"She didn't wrap things in cotton wool — she held up a mirror, and once you see through your own self-deception, you can't unsee it. I could call her during a crisis and she'd pick up. I'd recommend Code Red without reservation to any parent navigating something similar."
- Ivo
"At the point when I truly didn't know how to go on, I found Esther. With her warmth, expertise, and listening ear, she helped me get back on my feet. She holds up a mirror and truly works with you."
- Patricia
"I'm deeply grateful to Esther for her listening ear, her insight, and her understanding during the hardest year of my life. She held up a mirror to my own behavior - confronting at times, but exactly what I needed."
- Marloes
"I was completely exhausted from trying to keep him from going over the edge, and I had lost myself completely. My conversations with Esther helped me reclaim my own life, without shame or guilt. It gives me energy and makes me calmer and more loving."
-Danielle
"I was completely lost until I met Esther. Her program gives me strength, quiet in my mind, and balance in my life. After years of just surviving, I'm finally learning to live again, step by step."
- Debby
"Our family was overwhelmed, exhausted, and without hope when we called Esther with our very last breath. From the first second, she was a lighthouse, guiding us as parents, toward a new, safe harbor."
- Toos
"Whether acting as someone with lived experience or as an instructor, Esther is warm, open, and highly competent. She offers the right support and assistance, with a level of professional expertise that you would wish for every mother, father, son, daughter, or partner."
- Mads
"Esther is an inspiring, passionate professional who effortlessly grasps complex material by putting herself in the client's shoes. Her knowledge surpasses many in this field - but above all, she's a wonderful person to have around."
- Meino
Organisations I proudly work with
Frequently asked questions
Ready to Take the First Step?
Family counselling for addiction
Tel. +31 85 - 0041123